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I was down down down, at the bottom of the pit, at the base of the well, at the core of the earth, at the end of a blackhole.
I don't know, I don't want to just pass my Chinese O level. Pass is not good enough for me. A C6 for the big Os as compared to an A2 or A1? No thanks. I want distinction, but at the same time it can't be helped that I just can't make the correct choices in deciding answers. This is so dumb. What was supposedly so easy is making me so worried, even after it's over.
Sheeeesh :\
I was clearing recordings of channel 5 dramas (again) and finished last week's Criminal Minds. And I didn't even know that it's the last episode of the season, it just ended ended-ly -.- Quite sad. So anyway, towards the end there was this narration by / pov of the unit chief:
“Sometimes there are no words, no clever quotes to neatly sum up what's happened that day. Sometimes you do everything right, everything exactly right, and still you feel like you failed. Did it need to end that way? Could something have been done to prevent the tragedy in the first place? ... ... ... And what about my team? How many more times will they be able to look into the abyss? How many more times before they won't ever recover the pieces of themselves that this job takes?”
[ http://www.tv.com/criminal-minds/to-hell...and-back-2/episode/1265305/recap.html?tag=episode_header;recap ]
It dawns on me that doing crime scene investigation is not all about nabbing the killers, saving the world, solving the case before time runs out. It's wits plus determination and perseverance, which is like what everyone else is doing in their respective jobs. But the emotional struggles of these officers are often hidden, because of who they are and what their duty requires them to do. There's no time for grieving or breaking down. They have to move on, chop chop, get the case solved and closed.
Well I definitely cannot cope in a place where cases of suicide, kidnap, sudden deaths, serial killer on the loose etcetc pops out every single day. The pure thought of the existence of such cases is stressful enough, much less racking my (puny) brain to solve them. It's crazy. Does these officers undergo counselling or something? All that stress - pressure from the boss, pressure from the media, pressure from the public, and pressure which one gives oneself - is what I believe detrimental to one's health.
I really admire people like them, not only officers in the field of crime investigation, but also nurses, doctors, etc. They have this awesome courage in them, something I can't explain through words (:
The quote in bold is so sickening yet blatantly true. I guess sometimes it's just LIKE THAT and feelings go haywire. The mind and heart don't flash the signals which they are supposed to represent - betrayals. Yeah right now, I'm being betrayed by these two
:\
♥ 00:12